The Grove Gang
Volume 48, Issue 9
By Bruce-Michael Gelbert

July Roundup
A fantastic Independence Day Invasion of the Pines kicked off the month of July. Homecoming Queen Donna Piranha, as a beautiful bride, with Roger Cortez, her handsome groom, led a terrific Invasion wedding party, underlining that the right of gays and of lesbians to marry has become such an important issue. Her party included the lovely Charity, Mother, Fluffy, Frankie Cocktail and Uma Assburns and handsome Joan Van Ness, Joanne Tavis, Lois McIntosh, Meryl Facterman, Bobbie Green and Doreen Rallo. A sign reading “Going to the Chapel,” with “Chapel” crossed out and “City Hall” substituted, hung from the ferry carrying the cross-dressing invaders and hirsute “Sons of Italy” SallyAnn, Wendy, Martha, Suzy, Sherry and Denise stood near it when the boat left the dock. Sailors Linda, Barbara, Lyn and Pat escorted Billy Ann Miller. Luisa, Gary and company depicted a jailed Martha Stewart and insisted, “Martha was framed!” Jack, Curtis, Jeffrey and Craig, with walker and canes, paid backhanded, but undoubtedly affectionate tribute to Rose Levine, celebrating 50 years in show business in the Grove, by bearing a banner identifying themselves as her fans since 1854. Angela Mercy came with Freeta Chews, who was making her comeback. Miss Drag Attack Daisy and her furry friends, in filmy tutus, made the hairiest troupe of ballerinas ever to execute the “faux pas” [sic] from “Swan Lake.” We saw statuesque Carmen Flamingo in hot pink; Cobra in red; a pregnant Orangeena riding a hot ass—a live burro, that is; Mr. FI Leather 2004 East Village Stud Jeff Goodman; Mr. FI Leather 2002 Peter B and consort Phil in silvery disguise as Lucy Fur and Ginger Snap; Bella, who hosted an entertaining show at the Ice Palace the next night; Carmela, Jerena and company; and so many others.

Cabaret
Rick Leonard began his prestigious Cabaret by the Bay season at the Tides that week with appearances by youthful performers Julie Reyburn (July 6), who also sang in the series last year, and Brandon Cutrell (July 13), who participated in John DeMarco’s MAC Award winners show in June. Reyburn, who sang more of her own work last summer, covered somewhat more familiar territory this time, with Sondheim’s “Take Me to the World” and parody “The Boy From…”; “I’m Not that Girl,” from”Wicked”; and Carly Simon anthem “Let the River Run.” Brandon connected with the audience with a twisted lullaby—”Daddy likes porn…and $10 whores … and rubbing against little boys on the bus … and that’s why your Mommy left us”—and touching “Hello, Tom,” in vain inviting a boy he had a crush on to the junior prom.
In between, the Grove’s leading comics and raconteurs entertained with jokes and stories at the Community House in the Arts Project of Cherry Grove (APCG)’s third annual “Stand Up Cherry Grove” (July 10), starring Panzi, Philomena, Ruth and Susan Freedner, Sal Piro, and Amelia Migliaccio, with Rose Levine on hand to sing a couple of numbers, with Dan Lanning at the piano. Under the aegis of PAWS the next afternoon, Minister Eleni O. Marudis presided over a second annual non-denominational Pet Blessing at the Grove Hotel. On both days, the hotel held a colorful carnival, with clowns, flag dancers, a juggler, a dunking tank, food booths, dart game, ring toss, and Ariel Sinclair and Fred staffing a popcorn and cotton candy stand.
Charity, Miss Fire Island 1968, hosted a show at Cherry’s on the 12th, featuring Millenium Miss FI, leggy Viva Sexx, dancing to disco numbers, and elegant reigning Miss FI Nikki Starr doing Cher. As a salute to both Janis Joplin and our own talented Porsche, who often channels her, Charity included “Piece of My Heart.” Divas and audience members repaired to the Tides to hear “tranny rock princess” Lisa Jackson singing and accompanying herself in her own songs, including “Fabulously Done,” dedicated to Nikki. In her shows at Sunsets, Porsche has taken to singing selections from “Hairspray,” including “Good Morning Baltimore” and “You Can’t Stop the Beat,” doing the voices of Marissa Jaret Winokur, Harvey Fierstein, and, most whimsically, Carol Channing and Nell Carter in the latter. She made a surprise appearance at the Tides on the 20th, during Titania Tides and “Boston Girl” Norell Gardner’s show, as Tracy Turnblad, in early 1960s teenager drag, complete with bouffant hairdo and hairspray can, singing the Broadway hit’s opening number and “I Can Hear the Bells.”
On Bastille Day at the Tides, Sweetie presented the first episode of an on going, weekly soap opera entitled “Forever Gay,” set in gay/lesbian resort “Berry Cove.” Lovely singer Bianca Leigh impersonates Constance Craving, oldest drag performer in the community; Miss Pearl portrays restaurant hostess Miss Ruby; bartender Maria plays the butch Pug, partner of Pansy, a part taken most recently by Samantha, Maria’s real-life mate; bartender Patrick is Sugar, who disrupts their domestic tranquility; Curtis Knecht is Mitchell the Slut and Paul, his pursuer, Stu. My significant other, Joe Saporito, makes an official stage debut as Ira, a hotel owner and pianist. Porsche recently joined the cast as Mercedes, Eve Harrington to Constance’s Margo Channing. Stay tuned.
Lois, Meryl and Donald Labohn’s eighth annual Doctor’s Fund Benefit, “Broadway Bombshells,” co-produced by APCG, at the Community House on the 17th, featured one rib-tickling theatrical tribute after another. Especially bringing down the house was “You Gotta Get a Gimmick,” from “Gypsy,” with Joanne, Bobbie and Doreen, out of their Invasion tuxedos and into most florid stripper drag, dazzling as Mazeppa, Electra and Tessie Tura!
During that week, little Joe and I entertained guests from San Francisco Hal Offen, my dear friend for the last 33 years, and boyfriend Rob Reed, who wasn’t born yet when Hal and I met at Gay Activists Alliance. We cooked tasty meals for each other—jambalaya, turkey meatloaf, steamed clams (direct from the bay, thanks to Hal), and potato kugel; watched a 1939 Technicolor film of “The Mikado” on television; and took them to the beach, to Mother’s, and to Daniel Nardicio’s underwear party at the Tides. There was no visit from the police on the night of the latter, as there had been three weeks earlier, when the officers blocked the Tides’ entrance, demanded that DJ John John lower the music, and inspected the liquor license and IDs of all employees. Management considered it a “warning” lest Fridays at the Tides become like the erstwhile Thursday Porn Nights at Cherry’s, which caused so much controversy.

Coming Up Soon
The APCG’s annual art show, chaired by Cee Jay Rosen, is set for July 31 and August 1 at the Community House. The indomitable Rose Levine stars in two performances of “I’m Still Here,” her Golden Jubilee evening, on August 7 and the Archives show that weekend, organized by Harold Seeley, will include some of Rose’s memorabilia. John DeMarco and Joe Agosta are co-directors of the musical production “Vegas Dreams,” with pianist John Bowen and choreographer Brett Oberman. Dates are August 28 and September 4 and 5.
The “Cherry Bowl” volleyball tournament pits the Grovettes against the Suffolk County Copettes, on the lot bounded on the north by the Grove Hotel and the east by the Tides, on the afternoon of August 4. August 7 is the date for the Concerned Women of the Grove’s Breast Cancer Benefit, a major event of the season, at Heaven ‘n Earth. Empress Billy Anne Miller and the Imperial Court of New York’s Royal Revue will be at the Ice Palace on August 29.
Correcting an omission: the photos that accompanied Tim Steffen’s article about the Doctor’s Fund Benefit in last week’s Fire Island News were taken by Joseph R. Saporito and Bruce-Michael Gelbert. Also the deck furniture total was $600, not $6000.