A Guide to Being the Perfect Guest
Volume 49, Issue 5
By Grace Corradino

At the end of every weekend, especially the holidays, I hear horror stories about Fire Island house guests. The complaints never change and the offending house guest never reappears.

In order to afford houseguests and visiting family member a chance to understand what a house guest needs to know in order to make a return visit we offer the following information, and guidance.

The most important thing to remember is that your host is on vacation. Your host is not here on Fire Island because they want to work, they want to relax.

Please also note that THESE RULES APPLY TO EVERYONE WHOSE NAME IS NOT ON THE DEED OF THE HOUSE. Grown children, parents, grandchildren, whoever you are, like it or not, you are a guest.

#1. Before you arrive, print out the ferry schedules that you will need. In addition, make all your own travel arrangements to and from the ferry terminal. All inquiries about freight, bicycles and parking should be directed to the nice people at the ferry company. They love to hear from you and want to answer every conceivable question you have.

Your host has graciously agreed to share their vacation home with you. In return, at a minimum, they expect to enjoy your company for the time you are here. I have never heard a Fire Island homeowner say that they always wanted to own a home here so that they could hone their skills as a travel agent. Make all travel arrangements on your own.

#2. There are items you can bring with you which will increase your chances of being re-invited to Fire Island. These items are so important that I have assigned a value to each of them. Furthermore, and not to be unreasonable, if you can amass 30 points, I believe that a follow up invitation is assured. a. 10 points – bring your own towel, preferably two. In our house, this is non-negotiable. Doing the laundry is not fun. Why would anyone want to wash your towels if you can bring your own, and most importantly take them home when you leave?

The single most annoying thing anyone can do in our house is to hang a wet towel on a piece of furniture. We have two four poster beds and from time to time, one of my children’s friends will drape their towel there. It is a mad dash between my kids and me to get it off the bed, especially if it is a good friend and they want them back.

b. 10 points – Fruit or vegetables. We never have enough and we always want more. A good house guest knows to bring cherries, a melon, or any other fruit that transports easily. The same holds true for vegetables. I recommend bringing fresh green beans, beets or other vegetable which are easy to manage and are a welcome addition to most kitchens.

c. 10 points – A case of wine.

d. 10 points – A case of beer.

e. 10 points – A case of anything.

#3. Never, ever wait to be asked to help out; just do it. If you have some cooking ability, make dinner or fix lunch for everyone.

#4. If you are lucky enough to be in a home which is orderly, neat and clean, it is likely that it got that way because your host works at it, or arranges to have it so.

Make your bed and keep your things folded neatly in your suitcase or weekend bag. If your host has set aside a place for you to put your things, keep them there. The idea is that the house should not look any different because there are guests in the house.

#5. Often, adults get the gist of guest behavior, but do not impose these same standards on their children. This is a mistake and if made, guarantees that you will never be invited for a return visit.

Fire Island is paradise in the summer. It is a paradise in the back yard of eight million New Yorkers. We are fortunate to have our homes here. Having family and friends visit should only increases the joy of having a Fire Island home... if they adhere to the Five Point Plan outlined above.

I recommend clipping out this article and framing it. Put the frame on the pillow of each and every guest you have. Your guests will either be happy to know what you expect or offended to know that there are any expectations.

Either way, you win. The guests you offend, won’t come back. The guests who are grateful to know what to do, will be happier because you will be happier.

Grace Corradino, lives in Saltaire, year round. She is a NYS licensed real estate broker and the owner of Fire Island Living Real Estate.