The Grove Gang
Volume 49, Issue 6
By Bruce-Michael Gelbert

Twin exhilarating highlights of recent weeks have, of course, been Pride and Invasion for my partner, Joe Saporito, Mr. Fire Island Leather 2005, and me, Mr. Leather 2001. We marched in the leather contingent of the Grove Pride parade, with previous Mr. Fire Island Leather Peter B (2002), with Phil, and Master James (2003). (A business trip in Asia kept East Village Stud Jeff Goodman (2004) from joining us, but he was back by Invasion as a Southern belle, one of the Devereaux Sisters.) We enjoyed the company of Homecoming Queen Ivanna Cocktail, the rainbow bouquet, Father Pride Glenn Boles, Mistress Sharon and Wendy Lewis, Rose Levine, Martha and sister Dawn Pitkin, Porsche, Ariel Sinclair, Miss Carmen, merman Daryl Terry, and many others, and reveled in “A Date with Liberace,” with talented and colorful Jacqueline Jonée, that evening. At Pride in the city, we marched in the “Leather/Levi/Fetish” section with the Metrobears, who distributed Mardi Gras beads the colors of the Bear Pride flag: brown, gold, black, white and gray, to observers on the street. We saw Peter B and Phil in formal white with the Imperial Court, Empress Robin Kradles, Master James, a lavishly inked Doug Rowan, and other familiar folks. Spectacular fireworks over the Great South Bay and the Hudson River capped the days.

I’ve seen nearly every Grove Invasion of the Pines since 1986 and participated in two, in leather since winning my title, as part of the Queens’ entourages. This was Joe’s turn, as current title-holder, escorting lovely reigning Miss Fire Island Dakota Sue. Joe was an Invasion virgin, as were Tides impresario Sweetie, Mike “Ciara Borealis” Lavers, Mrs. Sissy, and Ima Desperate. On Invasion morning, originator and coordinator Panzi, with probably a thousand concerns on her mind, called to invite me to board the boat as a member of the press and help with security. Not only would I get to see my partner in his first Invasion, I would go on it, too. Thanks, Panzi!

The days between the big events were the usual three-ring circus and began with sadness when we put our beloved 15-year-old, ailing diabetic, polydactyl tabby cat, Misha, the middle child, to sleep, after three health crises in a week’s time. And company was coming for the holiday weekend, leatherman Leo Egashira, for a fourth visit to the Grove from Seattle since 1997, and my best friend of the last quarter of a century plus, Greg Klosek. “Twisted Nunsense,” maiden voyage of Daniel “Sweetie” Booth and J.B. “Titania Tides” McLendon’s Voyager Theatre Company at the Tides, was part of the weekend’s entertainment we enjoyed with our guests. In a production directed by David Titus, assisted at the piano by Darin Anquoe, and choreographed by Tim Riches and Erin Eagan, three female nuns–Suzanne Pilzer, Kristina Wilson, Maxine Linehan–and two drag nuns–Davis Davis, Brian Ferrari–turn catastrophe to catchy song-and-dance numbers, bring back fond memories for those who have witnessed the ill-starred and star struck Little Sisters of Hoboken before, and tickle all who attend. Friday and Saturday at 8:30 are the last chances to see the sisters strut their stuff, so go! Tickets are $25 and the box office number is 597-7006.

On tap next was the Arts Project’s “Legends in their Own Minds,” at the Community House, first show directed by technical wiz Matt Baney and celebrating Grove Homecoming Queens, from Panzi, the first, to Ivanna, the 31st, with visits with Philomena, Sylvia “Legs Labohn” Shapiro, Timothea, Cobra, Mandi, Luisa Verde, China, Ariel, Charity and Donna Piranha along the way. One favorite number, reprised from Sal Piro’s 1999 “Last Drag Show,” found a jilted Luisa Verde, in scarlet, declaring war on Gary Greene and China, happily “Going to the Chapel,” with “It Should’ve Been Me.” In Sal’s show, the bride that Luisa pushed was the late, lamented Duane “Alexandra” Alexander.

A glitch that must be ironed out, unfortunately, occurred that night. Photographers have been told that no more flash photography is permitted during performances and we cooperate. In exchange, presenters cooperate by allowing a photo shoot between shows, to preserve the memories and show appreciation for performers’ accomplishments, a request that was brushed aside in the melee that night and should not have been. Joe’s non-flash photos proved successful in capturing selected moments—indeed two appeared with Mike’s write-up–but we couldn’t know that immediately and holding the final tableau would have guaranteed that we had our visual souvenir.

I was assured the problem wouldn’t recur on Saturday at “The Fabulous 50’s,” a.k.a. “Mid-Century Madness,” the Doctors Fund Benefit, by Sylvia’s alter ego, Donald LaBohn, who conceived and directed it. “It has been a long, long time since someone in Cherry Grove did the 50s” in a show, Donald told The Fire Island News, the day after “Legends.” People have renewed “interest in the 50s... we were so totally law abiding and civilized It wasn’t a boring time,” he said, and “People like its images: James Dean and Marilyn Monroe.” We discussed additional icons Marlon Brando, Kim Novak and Elizabeth Taylor. Will we see them depicted on the Community House stage that night? Donald’s lips were sealed.

He did concede that tributes to early rock and roll and science fiction movies and looks at “headline news [and] scandals” of the decade would figure into the gala and shared a cast list consisting of himself and partner Evan Kane, Donna Piranha and Roger Cortez, Luisa and Gary, Charity, Coco and Margo, Mandi, Bobby Ferri, Joanne Tavis, Bobbi Green and Doreen Rallo, Gefil Tefish, pianist Dan Daly, “and a few surprises.” Tickets are $30.

Sal, for whom I had begun typing the script of Labor Day show, “Way Overboard”—don’t ask what’s in it; my lips are as sealed as Donald’s—urged me to bring myself and my camera to the Grove Hotel’s Make Your Own Bikini—of anything but cloth—contest, so I went to cheer on Mistress Sharon, wearing the white net and beads of her chupah, or wedding canopy; her sister-in-law Mimi, in plastic bags, as the Supermarket Diva; Titania, in bathing suit composed of her signature blue wigs; Johnny Bring-Your-Own-Meat, accoutered with the Wednesday event’s flyers, wieners and buns; and Burgers and Bingo–Laura the lifeguard–decked out in bingo cards and balls, and plastic burgers and utensils. The winner of the top prize, a Florida trip, was one “Hairy Boobina,” who said her attire was made entirely of her own hair.

Invasion night brought competing initial shows from Bella, dishing at the hotel, and Michael Guerette, graceful and ingratiating singer, beginning to bid farewell to the Grove by opening Rick Leonard’s sixth season of Cabaret by the Bay, now at the Tides. A difficult choice, but I knew about Michael’s first and opted to go there and to catch up with dear Bella on August 14. (Michael makes an encore appearance on August 22.) The next night, Mark Holt, co-author and co-star of the play “Belly Up,” once a month at the Tides, aired his comedy act there, making the munchies sound most erotic, waxing poetic about Mistress Sharon and Serreta Edge, and lambasting Rudy Giuliani.